isurvivedthekobayashimaru:

I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”

And I think I actually scared him because his eyes got kind of wide and he just walked away.

(Source: shesdonejim, via adolf-kitler)

binkshapiro:

whosromeo:

girls are attracted to assholes because in elementary school girls were told “if he’s mean to you that means he likes you”

the da vinci code has been cracked

(via unsubmissive)

chrispiine:

behind every great man is me
checkin out dat ass

(Source: narvaezs, via letme-kissyou-inside-out)

icicleman:

thatpunnyguy:

what does Batman like to put in his drinks?

JUST ICE

GET OUT

(via doubledemonfang)

cybergay:

cloudy with a chance of me not getting laid this summer 

(via rushings)